That is a very apt description of our life, especially these days.  Yesterday, as my hubby was being lifted to his feet to move from bed to wheelchair, he passed out. My son was so frightened that he called 9-1-1 to get an ambulance coming to the house. Of course, the patient woke up before the call was finished and the worst was over. When he called me to come home, he was finished(mentally) at that point and wanted someone else to take over. I am not mad about that. It’s been so up and down lately, we are all a little tired, I think.

      To be honest, we want/need a break. Oh, vacation, where are you?

      To go from a very quiet house inhabited by 2 people to a very busy, noisy hospital where there are nurses in and out 24/7 and then back to the home environment has been an adjustment, to put it mildly. We have been a bit frazzled and a little vacation would be nice. This won’t happen, but I dream of it endlessly.

      The hospital we frequent is a place of disorder most days. It is undergoing renovations and even the entrance has changed. As well as a particularly convenient parking lot. Okay, we are rather spoiled as patient/caregivers go. We have had a lot of good luck with this place of healing and they made my job easier. They even had valet service which I adored. Yesterday was their last day as the contract ran out. Another disappointment, but I did end up giving them a great review.

     So, what the story about the hospital is: We were to be there for 21 days while my hubby recuperated from a transplant and as you may already know, that didn’t happen. In fact, he’s been in the hospital more than out of it since April of this year. It was NOT a vacation, nor a respite for either of us.

     A few days after he got out of hospital, maybe a week, he developed an infection and had to go back in, and even into ICU for a spell. Wow. That was unexpected. It was not a life-sentence however,  so on Wednesday of this week, we came back home again. You see what I mean about going from home to hospital and back and forth for so long?

       Then on Friday, that was when the passing out occurred, I was very frazzled and stressed out. We were at the clinic all day for blood products and when we got home I think we all breathed a sigh of relief.

I was very tired last night and my son said I sort of sleep-walked my way to the couch about midnight, saying things about “employee lists” – which would mean I am in my head thinking about my job. Strangeness of all colors.

It’s just a difficult life right now. But I believe I did get some good sleep finally.

      But, even still, it is so good to be home. Hubby is sitting at his desk, playing his GTA game on Playstation, Grand Theft Auto V – PlayStation 4 and oftentimes cussing at the screen, which makes me smile. I have gone outside and sat in the sun, drinking in this glorious summer day, and wonder at what all the fuss was about over the last week. It’s like childbirth-it is a pain easily forgotten, I guess.     

Since the activity and noise of the hospital can be wearing on everyone, I have to say we are much happier now being here at this very quiet house, than at our other “home” even if the staff did a superb job of making us feel loved and cared for.