Free writing exercise: Why is this so hard?

free writing: why is this so hard?
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Free Writing: oh, how cool it is. I don’t have to edit. I don’t have to stress over what comes out of my fingertips at all. Of course I still do edit myself. it’s become a second skin now. I realize I have been writing professionally for seven years, and I am overwhelmed sometimes how hard it still is. I am NOT easy on myself – not like I used to be. Writing used to be a lot of fun. Sometimes I long for days where I can write situated anywhere on anything at any time. I just cannot do it any more. Now I have to have the right mindset, the right place, the moon and stars all in alignment.

I am sitting at my writer’s group meeting, listening to the chatter between my friends and others seated nearby. It seems like everyone in the world has something going on in their life that requires a great deal of focus. Even me. Especially me. So much so that I am free-wriiting to loosen the writing muscle in order to get anything done.

I may need yoga.

I may need psychotherapy.

When my life is cluttered up with weary woes, my mind goes into hiding. I wish I knew the combination that acts as a key to get the brain flow rushing out again. I would love to have a 2000 word few hours. I would love to be able to put out a book in a few months. I could do that once upon a time. Why can’t I do it now?

Well, I have written three hundred words on this blog post, so that’s something.

Maybe it is a beginning. Maybe I will get back into the writing groove soon. It used to be that fall (the season) opened the floodgates. It used to be that the long cold dark days of fall and winter would give me the solitude and peace needed to get writing done – so maybe there is still hope.

Used to be my caper mystery series consumed me. My historical romance (which is still unpublished) really consumed me – research you know… I think the writing or the characters or the story has to be so enveloping that it consumes me body and soul. It has to be on my mind to such a depth that I cannot sleep for thinking about it. This is the crux of the writing life for me. Every waking hour is spent plotting, researching, planning, writing, and walking the floor when it isn’t working. I love the whole process. I love the creation phase, the tweaking phase, yes, I am growing to love the editing phase.

Okay, so over 400 words. I can do this. I can. I have before and I will again. It’s just writing. It isn’t rocket science. It isn’t brain surgery, and it isn’t even real. They are not real people, it isn’t a real town.

Why is this so hard? Free writing. Gotta love it.

About master

Kim Smith is the author of Disk of Death, The Dread Room, Love Inn, and An Unexpected Performance.

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